An unhappy July 4th

In the past, every July 4th, or American Independence Day, my mom would always cheer me up at night. I remember times when she gave me candy, saying "Happy July 4th!", or celebrating with me in happy times, like eating ice cream together and allowing to play games/give me back my PSP. Today, was a different story. Ever since I entered college, and she quit her job, EVERYTHING changed. She used to be always optimistic, now she's always angry. She used to remember everything, but now she stays home all day, forgets stuff, and blames it on me. She used to let me play games practically the whole day on holidays in the past - now she yells at me when I only played 1.5 hrs today. Today, I originally planned to go with my friends to see the fireworks, the biggest of the year, but all my friends ditched me, leaving me alone. I'm tired of this bullshit. Things used to be fun and happy, now things are sad and depressing. What happened? Sure, my grades are bad, but she's not even giving me a chance anymore. Back then, I used to look at the stuff I wanted to buy, and my mom used to say "Save up your money for another time" or "We'll buy it another time when we're rich." Now, even when I look at an item on sale online, she plainly yells at me, "STOP WASTING MONEY!!!" when I clearly only dream of buying it and didn't even buy it yet. She used to love it when I learned about computers, and now she yells at me despite being a computer engineering major. She even yells at me saying I'm stupid. Occasionally, she does stuff to me and tries to be nice but never says anything. Why? Why is life changing so much? Life used to be happy. I originally created this blog to write happy thoughts so I can look back to see my happy side. But I cannot forgive myself if I don't write this rant. Even now, as I'm writing, I hear fireworks setting off outside my window. My mom offered to go with me there but I don't want to go with my mom. I want to grow up and go with my friends. AGAIN, she yelled at me for being a hermit. I still hear the whizzing sound of the fireworks. The Chinese astrology said this year was a happy year for Monkeys, but so far, everything was bad. I wish my life wasn't so terrible.

edit: Janus tried to cheer me and up and reminded me how graceful music is at lonely times. Thank you. I appreciate it