Almost there to Christmas!

So I've reunited with most of my friends recently. Things were a bliss - I met April and Lawrance again on Tuesday for tennis and we all hung out. It was also my first time playing tennis with James. He said it was his first time playing, but i doubt it; he played almost like a veteran compared to us.


So today was another day - a day where I reunited with Cherie, Queeny, and Kimberly. Originally, it was planned to be a bigger group doing multiple events, but the original group of 15 people dwindled to 6. I guess it wasn't that bad, because we got to do more fun things without as much worry of others disliking something. So we went to see the movie, Tangled. Due to time conflicts, we waited about 2 hrs to start watching and went to the Hello Kitty Store and Toys R Us store to waste time. As expected, the Toys R Us store sparked happy memories with my past (and new memories today to remember in the future). I saw the largest jaw breakers ever and we had fun with the candyland/plushies there. I originally wanted to go to the Disney Store, but i guess it's not enough time. So then we viewed Tangled. It was an awesome movie in terms of CG animation but the storyline was really lacking and cheesy. However, the music really blew us away in that it reminded us of the past Disney Magic.


So then, we became rebellious and hopped into another theater, The Tourist. Honestly, The Tourist was MUCH better than Tangled in terms of storyline but nearly everything was predictable yet stupid. This was my first time going movie hopping - I'm happy.


Next, we went to Rockefeller. The tree was gorgeous! It was huuuge and dazzling (except the mobs of tourists half-ruined the experience). I also didn't know that there was a lego store there. It was small, but reminded me of the one in Orlando. Good old days. I'm starting to enjoy this Christmas now.


(^o^)v

Finals Finally Over

So today,  I finally finished my calc II finals. It wasn't that bad, but I did end up making some errors. Generally, I think i got above an 80, but time will tell. Regardless, I'm still applying for the retake of the calc exam (because i'm Asian like that). The scary thing was, I was nearly late for the exam. Actually, scratch that - I WAS late because I had some trouble finding the testing room. Luckily, I was only late by a few minutes, so that was nothing much. God, i hated that room; it was cramped and the desks had barely any room.


And so, I met up with Helen, Christine, and Kai and we walked over the Manhattan Bridge. I guess you can say it was cold, but I was fine with it (although they weren't...). And then we ate at Big Wong restaurant in Chinatown. I remember that the place used to be really cheap with good food; now it's bad in quality and the pricing of the food seems like rip-offs. So afterwards, me and Helen went alone to Pearl Paint and SoHo and browsed a few stores (and bought some Christmas cards). It felt like more a date than a hangout, but it was a pleasant experience nevertheless. All I can say is: she won my heart and time for today. I'm still undecided, unfortunately. 


Well, so I came home today and cleaned the house a bit and played a lot of StarCraft II! I think today was one of the most deserved days i've had after a stressful event (such as a test). In fact, I think I was a bit spoiled today...haha!


(^o^)v 

Another Day of Tennis

Yes, I play tennis every Saturday - well, not EVERY Saturday, but it depends on the weather. So today, i woke up late for tennis again. Yes, I'm late as usual, but i was further delayed because i had to buy breakfast for my mom - not that i was against it, but it massively delayed my schedule. ~sigh~ All for the sake of my mom, right? I sometimes wish my dad was here to help my family out financially and emotionally.


So anyhow, prior to buying breakfast, I received two missed calls from Helen and Henry. What shocked me this morning was that, Helen wanted ask her dad to give me a lift. Wait, WHAT?!?!?! A lift from her dad's car? I know that's pretty awkward but at the same time, she showing concern and thought for me. Upon hearing that from Henry, i finished my conversation with him and rightfully replied tot he missed call from Helen. Again, her casualness of her voice threw me off again. =.=


And so, we played tennis (I roofed a lot of balls today....whoops) and then went to eat lunch at Lucky 8 restaurant in 8th avenue, Brooklyn. It was a new experience, since it was my first time dining at that restaurant. my only complaint was that there was no table cloth and the table showed bare wood (with metal hinges) but I guess that's something new. The food tasted decent (but worth it considering the price. What amazed me today was how playful Helen was while trying to shove food into Henry's plate. It was interesting yet awkward, since i was in the middle. That was somewhat fun.


And afterwards came the boring life of me going back to Poly's Bern Library to study for the Calc finals. Yes, i'm nerdy like that, but i really need to study since it's coming in two days. Meanwhile, i retrieved my necklace that i previously ordered. I'm sure that necklace would one day prove useful eventually. Still, I'm shocked by how Helen thought of me at the first moment to give me a lift. Despite me trying to focus on the Aero girl, i'm back in No-Man's land again. =.= FML


(-.-)b

Preparing for Christmas...and Finals

So the finals are approaching but that dreadfulness is balanced by the cheery mood of Christmas. So today was all mostly studying and making plans for my Christmas break with my friends. I'm planning to make an event with Lisha and some other friends, but i currently still don't know my schedule so I'll leave that subject on hold. On the other hand, I'm still hunting gifts for my friends. Gift hunting is painful......which is why i'll start on writing the messages for my Christmas cards right now. Time to start massively writing!


(^o^)v




P.S. I'm am so glad i signed up for UPromise, which returns a small percent of my online purchases towards my tuition. It makes my life a wee bit more simple.

Finally done with EG

So I'm finally done with my EG class today!~~~


You honestly don't know how stressful that class was, since i did approximately ~70% of the work most of the time but i have to admit, the classes were fun and worth it (although my partners were not).


So i'm finally done today, WOOO!!!


I'm also very happy today because Helen helped me throughout the past few nights on the project, showing MUCH devotion to it. I feel bad for dragging her sometimes to stay so late. Maybe she's trying to tell me something? I'm seem to get that hint, but she's not quite making clear enough to me because i don't want to make a false interpretation. Nevertheless, I really appreciate her presence today. We both got work done (for me) and we both kinda skipped lunch, so we ended up nearly starving when we've been through about 10 hrs of fasting (for classwork). So as for that, I promised her and myself (in front of her) that i'll treat her to a lunch or dinner someday. She seem confused about that topic, as usual, but somewhat grateful when i said that. Well, i'm off to bed. Nights.


(^-^)v


(Now to work on back on family issues, my keyboard and community engagement)

Precious times with old friends

Just two days ago was black friday, my first time going with my friends on this day to shopping. It was my first with Helen and my second with Henry. Things were pretty fun in that we each got MOST of what we wanted. Then we went toManhattan to buy a new tennis racket. Surprisingly, Henry bought one too! It was an awesome day. It was then when i saw Henry and Helen sleep-nap. Indeed, people do look cuter when sleeping, haha. Afterwards, i wasted the rest of my black friday at the EG model shop to attempt to finish my robot.


Yesterday was the official pot luck dinner between me and my friends. Nadeem, Pat, Yu, Rayes. Anna, Anthony, Elizabeth and several other people were there. It was the first tech reunion ever since college started and things were FUN! Pat showed me the Sony Nex 5 camera and I wanted one so badly! I might just save up to buy one in the future. We then created the human table, played the Wii, played an incomplete monopoly and cracked a lot of inappropriate jokes while playing the game, CONTACT. I also met Eva's sister because the dinner was hosted at her house. She was cute - up until eva told us she was 14, so i was shocked. I was completely shocked not at the fact that she was 14, but by the fact that she looked OLDER than eva in the first place when you compare the two. Still, as a 14 year old, she was a bit too quiet. So, back to the point: the food was DELICIOUS and tasted at LEAST 4 or 5 stars for everything. Unfortunately, nearly half of every dish was left over b/c we all brought in too much. At least I'm glad I was in charge of the apple cider; it was the only drink there.


So today, i played tennis for the second day with my new racket i bought. It runs very smooth except for the fact that I can barely control it because it is TOO light. Not that i can't control at all, but it'll require time to get used to it. Also, Yu played tennis with us today before heading back to Stony. And when we were almost done with tennis, i met one other close friend of mine that day: Lawrence. This thanksgiving weekend definitely deserved a TON of thanks,


(^-^)v

Who do I Really Like?

Recently, I have fallen into minor emotional breakdowns. Nothing major, but just depression and loneliness. I guess that's why so many people date in college, right? I recently feel more attracted towards some other people; people other than the one i liked during Halloween. Sure, i still like her to some degree, but it feels like my impression of her is somehow lost. I honestly don't know why. My love life is in a turmoil and I recently dropped my CS class due to stress. Ah, how wonderful it is to not have CS and EG classes together. It makes life so much more easier. Nevertheless, should i still ask her out (the one i liked during thanksgiving)? I put it as a goal to myself to confess to her in early December, before Christmas. But now..i feel as if much was lost. Her social niche is incompatible with mine and her attitude has changed as of recently. I feel as i am a complete stranger to her still (even though we've been through enough classes to call each other as acquaintances).


On the other hand, there is this other girl i still have feel for - someone I've known since my HS years who was with me in the same major. I wanted to ask her out before in the past, but she was often with another person whom i fairly knew. I knew they were just really close friends but I didn't have the guts to tell her my feelings before. Furthermore, I wasn't sure if I REALLY liked her back in those days. What do I mean? Well, lets just say that after 1 year of an all boys catholic school during my freshman year, I thought the female teachers there were "hot" - and I'm rather serious!!! My Aerospace major in BTHS was similar in that it was mostly boys, but i wasn't sure if it was my true feelings or just testosterone. Now, she's in upstate. Distant relationships are not too fun, because i know that for myself. When I am in coupled with someone and am not able to see them much in real life, things get scary. I tend to over-think things and get paranoid, creating much unnecessary stress. In fact, i recently read her blog too. She asked the same question as i did: is having a boyfriend/girlfriend really worth it? Positives include romance and sociability. Negatives include extra stress and the pain that comes from the suffering. Personally, if her blogs are true, I think we're both quite compatible - but the distance part of things make it troublesome. She's in upstate NY while I'm in NYC. Are we supposed to webcam for the rest of the years? I'm sure she'll come back since her hometown and family is still in NYC, but that's only during the seasonal breaks.


I guess I'll reconsile with myself with this matter and let time tell. Atm, it's time to head back to focusing on my schoolwork.


I can't wait until Christmas approaches!!

(^-^)v

Remembering Promises

Recently, I've slacked off and felt really stressed/depressed in college. College work was tough and I am vastly lacking the friendship and the connections I once had in my high school life. Polytech life is very unique and adaptive but i feel as if a chunk of me is still missing. As of lately, this has caused my grades and my overall mood to drop. I was feeling down with every passing day until today. I remembered my promises.


In the summer, I promised myself to help other Asians to alleviate the pain and misery of the poorer class. I promised myself that I would become rich one day and help everyone around me. But doesn't being rich and giving it away sound ironic? Well, no. I want to be rich in the view of others. I want the joy of my wealth to spread to those around me, whether its intellectual wealth or financial wealth. I NEED to do for those around me, and perhaps i may one day find someone I love by doing so.


Recently, I've created New Generation, New York. It is a student created non-for-profit organization for other students. Although it is not a full-pledged non-for-profit yet (because it is not yet registered), it exists as a group on facebook and is collecting more and more supporters. Run by me, Ruixin, and Henry, it seems and feels like a promising group. I may have to add more administrators later on. I've also remembered promising myself to raise enough money to start a quickly's store near Brooklyn Technical HS to generate profit. However, this all starts with education. With good grades, most of this can be more easily achieved, so I must continue, no matter how stressed or down i feel!


Wish me luck!




(^-^)v

Just another day ~ Halloween

So today is Halloween. I should be happy, right? Children getting candy, everyone reuniting. Yet i feel more lonely than ever. I still have my friends, and that's true, but i still feel very empty inside. I honestly don't know why. My heart feels like it's...aching for something, yearning for an event to come. I don't know. I do feel tired, but I haven't done anything strenuous yet. It's weird. That more i think about Halloween, the more sad and lonely i get. Drama and friends help. Most definitely, they keep my company, but i feel as if they're not enough. I feel as if i shouldn't let life pass by just like this. I feel like I should take action. Nevertheless, i should eat some candy.




I may be wasting my holidays in my house, but i wish you all a Happy Halloween!!!

A New Face I Haven't Seen for a Long Time

So today began like a typical Saturday. Tennis was pushed to tomorrow b/c my best pal (now in stony) is coming back for the weekend to play tennis with us (me and my other friends) on Sunday. YAY ME!!! I got to sleep for more than 10 hours. Hearing that coming from a poly freshman is a rare phrase. So...i went to buy takeout for lunch (b/c our family was lazy to cook) and then my family argued over stupid ways to save money. So then i found my excuse and went to my project partner's dorm at NYU Poly to finish the Lego NXT Project. Surprisingly, i actually finished it! I only need the programming left. Also, i met Annie for the first time ever since i graduated!!! It felt so awesome!!! Well, i had to pay her since i "employed her" to create a logo for the new online non-for-profit company i made online: New Generation - New York. It's purpose is to have teens and college students aid the community repair itself and return NYC to its former glory. It sounds like an impossible task, but hey, Beta and National Honors Society was formed this way too: Students-to-Students.

Anyhow, meeting Annie was a blast. I nearly blushed when i thought about her on the train. It was like...meeting someone you haven't seen for so long! Not that i like her (although i do find her personality kinda cute), but that feeling would probably apply to any girl i know after not seeing them for so long. And, as usual, she bragged about her style. Again, she one of those people where you know she's from HK at a glance. Nevertheless, it was an awesome memory today.


(^-^)v

An interesting, new conversation

So today i went to NYU poly again. It was a casual day. I played tennis in the morning with my friends at Leif Ericsson Park and went straight to poly afterwards to work on my semester-long project. Music is such an awesome friend. Even during the loneliest times, hearing music can be a sanctuary. So when i approached my partner's dorm today, he surprisingly didn't pick up, but I waited in the dorm lobby to meet up with him. Shockingly, the security guard there as me, "What's up, boss?" I was instantly shocked. Boss? Well, it turned out that he happened to call everyone that (probably because our tuition money = his paycheck). Nevertheless, i was surprised that Joe (the security guard) initiated a conversation with me. Ever since September 11th, NY has changed so much, so this was quite a shock. So while we waited we chatted a bit. This was probably one of the most unique conversations of all time.


When i told him that i was going to work on my semester-long project, he immediately understood what i meant. He himself was a college student and had only graduated 5 years ago. Not bad, but then he later explained that it was interesting to once again be in college environment. It gave him the chance to understand the shift in teenage culture while offering him a paycheck. Not bad! Joe then told me how his college was so tough back then (which made me wonder which it was). He then said his dorm-mate loved to cook and that guy's father was a famous master chef in Japan who knew how to cut blow-fish. He then explained to me about how his dorm-mate ordered a blow-fish just to cook it. So I eventually continued the conversation and he finally told me the college he went to - Columbia University. SERIOUSLY?!?!?! Columbia? Security guard? He said he was a psychologist and has a degree in psychology at Columbia from the medical fields. Knowing how famous Columbia's medical program is, i was even more shocked at his position. Still, he became a hospital assistant for psychological services and took a part-time job at NYU-poly due to financial issues.


Even tonight, i'm still shocked about a psychologist working at such low-level jobs. He is a nice person
but somewhat lonely. In fact he is sometimes so lonely that he would help counsel some students in need at poly during his lunch break. Then he told me something about psychology. It is also the best quote I've heard so far this month "The door to success in counseling is not to just to understand the problem, but more importantly to understand how they VIEW the problem." He said it was crucial for a counselor to understand the root of the problem to know why the problem started in the first place. It was a really nice conversation.


So...later on when me and my other partners worked on the project, we did some work while discussing about girls. One of the buddies even discussed how the NYU girls were like at their frat parties at night during clubbing hours. It was an interesting conversation, but i'm not going into the details. NYU seems much more fun than i thought, but i sometimes wonder how those students handle the stress while still having fun. Nevertheless, that quote really made my day.




(^-^)v

Special day~?

So today is a special day to me. Her birthday is today, October 22nd. She's finally 18! I'm proud of her. To give a short introduction about her, she's from china and came over to the US at the age of 11. It's quite an amazing feat how well she adapted within society in just seven years. I really admire her for that. So, getting back on track, today was her birthday. I feel glad for her because, well, you know, Friday is the day to look for when you're a student. It's the day when the work is finally over and when you breathe a huge sigh of relief. 

Unfortunately, I can't say i'm 100% happy either. Despite her birthday being on a Friday, she still seemed stressed - she still has work at the Brooklyn Public Library. She asked whether or not she should take a day off. My obvious answer would have been a yes, but that seemed rather selfish. Why? Because I could tell that she had a goal in life: to have a place in society. Despite being an ABC, I was once bullied around in Dyker and wished i held a place in society. I can definitely relate my pain and feelings for her right now. Obviously, I didn't say no, but the she were to work, it would only ruin her special, precious day. She is 18. It is a special year where many responsibilities come to play and definitely cannot be wasted because of one mean boss. Unfortunately i don't know whether or not she had gone to work or not, but I shall abide by her decisions.


Now, i didn't ask her out yet. I really do like her, but we barely just met. Giving her a gift too expensive might scare her while giving a gift too light would be punishing to myself. Someone as beautiful, as remarkable, and as admirable as her definitely deserves a great gift, right? So, at the moment, i'm just hoping for closer friendship before i plan make my move. Honestly, we're just a bit better than acquaintances, but progress is being made. ^^


Although i still wonder. Should I ask her out to begin with? Romance and love does indeed have its good sides: it sparks innovation, creativity, support, and of course, love. However, at the same time, it only drags us behind our goals. She wants to improve life in America while I want to similarly be successful. If I do become in a relationship with her, I'm pretty sure we'll both be in pain to a certain degree, worrying and caring about each other. Currently, whenever she feels sad or depressed, I feel the same. Every time she smiles, my heart brightens one-hundred fold. My emotions are INTERTWINED with hers. I guess you can say it's cute, but i'm still curious. What does the future hold for us if we're together? I guess time will tell.


Speaking of which, she recently posted that she had a birthday party! At least that sounds happy! (^.^)v

~~Welcome!

Hi people! My name is Ronald. You can read more about me on my interests page. I HAVE indeed written some previous journals, but they all disappeared. I guess Webs doesn't like me being inactive too much, huh? I'll update on my history a little later on. For now, thanks for reading!




NOTE: The original content was hosted on ronzalpha.webs.com, but the green infolinks proved to be too annoying and thus, they lost a customer. I'll be transferring everything to here and Yola as a backup