Who do I Really Like?

Recently, I have fallen into minor emotional breakdowns. Nothing major, but just depression and loneliness. I guess that's why so many people date in college, right? I recently feel more attracted towards some other people; people other than the one i liked during Halloween. Sure, i still like her to some degree, but it feels like my impression of her is somehow lost. I honestly don't know why. My love life is in a turmoil and I recently dropped my CS class due to stress. Ah, how wonderful it is to not have CS and EG classes together. It makes life so much more easier. Nevertheless, should i still ask her out (the one i liked during thanksgiving)? I put it as a goal to myself to confess to her in early December, before Christmas. But now..i feel as if much was lost. Her social niche is incompatible with mine and her attitude has changed as of recently. I feel as i am a complete stranger to her still (even though we've been through enough classes to call each other as acquaintances).


On the other hand, there is this other girl i still have feel for - someone I've known since my HS years who was with me in the same major. I wanted to ask her out before in the past, but she was often with another person whom i fairly knew. I knew they were just really close friends but I didn't have the guts to tell her my feelings before. Furthermore, I wasn't sure if I REALLY liked her back in those days. What do I mean? Well, lets just say that after 1 year of an all boys catholic school during my freshman year, I thought the female teachers there were "hot" - and I'm rather serious!!! My Aerospace major in BTHS was similar in that it was mostly boys, but i wasn't sure if it was my true feelings or just testosterone. Now, she's in upstate. Distant relationships are not too fun, because i know that for myself. When I am in coupled with someone and am not able to see them much in real life, things get scary. I tend to over-think things and get paranoid, creating much unnecessary stress. In fact, i recently read her blog too. She asked the same question as i did: is having a boyfriend/girlfriend really worth it? Positives include romance and sociability. Negatives include extra stress and the pain that comes from the suffering. Personally, if her blogs are true, I think we're both quite compatible - but the distance part of things make it troublesome. She's in upstate NY while I'm in NYC. Are we supposed to webcam for the rest of the years? I'm sure she'll come back since her hometown and family is still in NYC, but that's only during the seasonal breaks.


I guess I'll reconsile with myself with this matter and let time tell. Atm, it's time to head back to focusing on my schoolwork.


I can't wait until Christmas approaches!!

(^-^)v